“I’m so awful at talking in public. I’m dreading this…”
I smiled in empathy, taking another sip of weak coffee as the woman standing next to me let out another self-conscious giggle.
“I’ve spent ages putting my presentation together. It’s not very good, but I hope they like it.”
We were both about to speak at a local event. One of those nice afternoon gatherings where you talk politely about what you do, then hope some of the people listening will want to pay you for it.
When I started my freelance writing business three years ago, my biggest block was the idea of having to speak up in public. It made me shiver. I don’t do audiences. I do writing in silence, and before that I did HR, in a tiny office I mostly had all to myself.
But as I listened to this woman fretting away beside me, I realised I’d finally beaten my own dreaded ‘public speaking nerves’ into submission.
I can track the steps of my journey from terrified mumbler to casual speaker. If you’re interested, they went something like this.
I wanted to stop annoying myself
In my corporate life, I’d push any speaking opportunities onto a colleague whenever I could. When I first started my business, I’d shy away from having to stand up and speak, unless I absolutely had to.
If I did have to, I’d giggle nervously, telling everyone who’d listen just how terrified I was of the whole thing.
In short, I was really, really annoying.
I couldn’t stand myself going on about it all the time, so I decided to try and beat the fear instead. I wanted to stop getting on my own nerves (which, for the record, is always a good place to start when you want to make a change).
I set a series of personal speaking challenges
I started by recording a live ‘writing tips’ video on Facebook.
Then I volunteered to give a three-minute speech to a packed room on International Women’s Day. I booked an ‘open mic’ slot to talk about the book I’d just published. I signed up to run a free writing workshop, and I started recording my own podcast.
Then I dialled it up
I ran a series of paid-for writing workshops, and I joined an improv class.
(Trust me when I say that once you’ve stood in a circle of grown-up strangers and you’ve made your fingers ‘talk’ to each-other in a funny voice, you’ll feel like you can do absolutely anything).
Here’s what I learned in the process of all that terrifying public speaking.
Fear stops being scary, if you scream right into its face
If you ever want to freeze a fear, you have to actually do what you’re scared of, then keep on doing it.
You might not love it. I still don’t enjoy standing up and speaking in public, and I’m never going to. But I’ve got to a point where I can just do it if I need to, without worry or fear. That’s the Holy Grail for me, plus it’s great for business.
Stop making it about you
I learned a great mantra during my improv lessons.
“Serve the show, not your ego”.
This works just as well when you’re giving a speech for work. It’s not about you, it’s about the subject. You’re passing on valuable information and insight (if you’re not, why are you speaking at all?) Make that your focus.
Public speaking is easier, if you make your audience feel safe
This is as easy as you believing you know what you’re talking about (so you sound confident), and not relying too much on visual aids like PowerPoint (so you can relax naturally into your talk).
You don’t have to be Brené Brown or Simon Sinek to be effective
How many times have you come away from a local talk or workshop thinking wow…that person really blew me away!
If you’re anything like me, not often.
But you probably still came away with at least one valuable piece of information, or some tips you’ll use in future – which means that talk or workshop worked.
I never aim to be a brilliant speaker (which is just as well). I just aim to give people some information they might find interesting and useful.
So there it is…my journey from terrified mumbler to casual speaker. I hope it helps, and if you’d like me to come and talk to you about it in person…well, you know where I am.
I'm a friendly and professional writer, reviewer and editor who works with warmth, humour and flexibility.
Reader, I called bullshit.
Read moreGood listening is more than just letting people talk.
Read moreStrategies to beat your writing monster into submission
Read moreHow not to drown in other people's opinions.
Read moreNobody else can tell a story in quite the same way you can.
Read moreExplaining what’s blatantly obvious to you, could turn out to be advertising gold.
Read moreWhat's your personal soapbox topic?
Read moreComments welcome.
Read moreDon't let spelling and grammar fears stop you from writing.
Read moreThis is a story about a career transformation. And Take That.
Read more"You can’t be on somebody’s side, if you don’t know what they think or how they feel".
Read more...they were learning how to express their true feelings in words, and the results were honest, uplifting, and totally magnetic.
Read moreNo matter how scary it seems, learning from difference will benefit you much, much more than the comfy mediocrity that similarity brings.
Read more"If you want to grab readers’ attention, you have to start with the heart."
Read moreHow do you make people feel safe about working with you?
Read moreMy journey from terrified mumbler to casual speaker, in easy-to-follow steps.
Read moreIf you have trouble motivating yourself to write that next blog post, whisper a little reminder: this could be a book one day.
Read moreBlogging basics to help you create a rip-roaring read.
Read moreRevamping your web copy will give your business the gift of reconnection.
Read more"If you really want to change your career, you have to be determined, and you have to be selfish."
Read moreThis is a blog post unlike any other.
Read moreReviews get read, because people assume they might be useful. Don't disappoint them!
Read moreHas your marketing strategy got room for some unexpected magic?
Read moreIf you've always wanted to write a book, but were put off by the people who already have - help is at hand!
Read moreWhere's the value in empty business gurus?
Read moreBeing original is easy as pie.
Read moreDo you rely on a rehearsed networking pitch?
Read moreHow to sell your amazing ideas to a brand-new audience.
Read moreHow regular blogging will boost your business - as if by magic!
Read moreHow to get away with bragging...without bragging about it.
Read moreIf you're too embarrassed to give (or receive!) compliments, writing it all down can work wonders
Read moreIt's Universal Letter Writing Week - how will you celebrate?
Read moreI’ve gathered together some of my most-read blog posts, tips and tools to help you get writing.
Read more"The right person will help you come across as yourself, but in a prouder, more polished, 'look what I’ve achieved' kind of way"
Read more"If you like someone, you might be tempted to look for excuses to work with them, even if their particular skills aren’t what you need."
Read moreFocus on telling interesting business stories that reflect your ideal customers’ lives back to them.
Read moreKeep your summer content fresh and updated to be remembered all year long.
Read moreHow to become every freelancer's favourite client!
Read moreFinding the 'what's', 'whys' and 'hows' of your business will help people connect with you.
Read moreIt takes time to craft compelling
November means #NaNoWriMo - so whatever you're working on, it's time to get it done!
Read moreIronically, it's when you're writing about yourself that you will sound least like you. Hiring a writer to do it for you can bring a whole host of benefits.
Read moreLearn how to live happily ever after through the power of storytelling
Read moreWriting books is big business - or at least it can be, if you get it right. For starters, this means not rushing the process!
Read moreA how-to guide for writing the ultimate downloadable guide for your business.
Read moreHeadlines are always difficult to write, so here's an easy way to craft something original for your personal and professional profiles.
Read moreThere's a lot of vague career advice out there, so if you're looking for insight that goes beyond "be yourself and follow your passion" you may have to leap before you look!
Read moreStanding up and presenting to a group of people is something that strikes fear into the hearts of even the most confident people - so if you're an introvert like me, it can really be the stuff of nightmares! Here's how I tackle my nerves head-on, with some careful preparation and relatable content.
Read moreThis week I'm responding to the questions people have asked since my Careershifters' Success Story was published recently - all about creating a writer's life.
Read moreYou don't have to be a professional writer to discover a unique writing voice that speaks to its readers. Finding your own voice is often easier than you might think, and it all starts when you write from the heart.
Read moreDid you know that so-called 'job-hopping' can be an asset to your career search? Whether you prefer stability or excitement in your career, planning your next move is all about packaging your skills and making the right kind of approach.
Read moreGoing freelance doesn't mean you have to accept every piece of work that comes your way. Being discerning with your time and effort will help you reap the rewards of being your own boss...and you'll get to work with some great people too!
Read moreWriting a recruitment ad is often a rushed activity, with the words used ones you've read many times before ("dynamic" anyone?) Here's how the Banks children managed to recruit their ideal candidate - Mary Poppins! - by using clear and creative words that stood out.
Read more'Greatest Hits' countdowns are rife at this time of year - so now, here's one featuring the best CV advice. This list will give you the ultimate steer if you're looking to get your CV on track for the new year job hunt. Wishing you a very happy 2017!
Read moreIf you're stuck in a job you don't particularly like, mindlessly searching job boards for something else, it can be hard to dredge up any enthusiasm to make a change. But that little bit of rest time between Christmas and a brand new year beginning is perfect for considering exactly what you want, and how to take the very first step towards making 2017 your happy work year!
Read moreWith a new year on the horizon, why not make a resolution to tell your life story? Committing your personal tales to paper can be a rich and rewarding experience for you to write and others to read...for generations to come. Here's how to get started.
Read moreHave you ever thought that making a few tweaks to your working life would help make living it much easier? Harness the power of well-chosen words to state your case and win better work-life balance in the process.
Read moreAre you often left with the feeling that you don't quite know enough about all the online tools you can use to promote your business? How about website analytics...shouldn't you be checking them every five minutes just like the experts say? Relax - here's how to take advantage of all the advice available online, by defining exactly what YOU want to know.
Read moreLooking for ways to sound consistent and authentic in your written communications? Here are a few tried, tested and original ways to do just that.
Read moreBOO! Like a ripe pumpkin Hallowe'en has rolled around yet again, so what better time to extol the benefits of ghostwriting, definitely not just the province of bargain-bin bound celebrities.
Read moreEverybody's busy these days - far too busy to read all the words that come their way. Get the right people to read YOURS by honing in on your ideal audience and creating compelling copy that will get them hooked.
Read moreRegular blog posts - especially if you run a business - can drastically increase your following, as well as helping you beat the competition by describing how you do things your way. Read on for a few more great reasons why you should join the blogging revolution!
Read moreSpeaking up in networking groups used to bring me out in a cold sweat. So I sought out the people I really wanted to talk to and introduced myself in the way I'm best at - in writing.
Read moreGetting the tone of a letter right - especially when you're writing to someone you don't know - can be difficult. No matter whom you're writing to, here's how to get started on a letter that's relevant, informative and authentic.
Read more