“This time is for me”: why everybody should have a hobby

Imagine you’re at a party.

The atmosphere is buzzing, you’re getting nicely squiffy on warm wine, and you’re even considering getting up and having a dance.

Then, someone you don’t know wanders over.  This person has read Derren Brown’s insightful article about how to talk to strangers, so instead of asking what you do for a living, they ask how you spend your time.

Suddenly, your mind goes blank.

Apart from work and family, how do you spend your time?

You tot up all those lost moments staring down at your phone, scrolling through social media feeds.  The box-set binge-watches.  The procrastinating over opening a book, going to the gym, or making a phone call to a friend you haven’t seen in ages.

“It never seems like there’s time for anything but work these days,” you end up mumbling.

Like it or not, you think, at least when someone asks what you do for a living there’s an easy answer.  Now you wish this annoying person would go away, because they’ve reminded you that you’re nothing but a big dull bore.

What really interests you?

Nobody is a big dull bore.  Not even you.

There are things that interest all of us, even if we don’t pursue them.  Sometimes, we don’t pursue our interests because we lack the confidence to try, or we don’t know where to start.

This was my problem for years.  I leapt from one terrible HR job to another, knowing it wasn’t really for me, but not knowing how to do anything else.

Surviving yet another draining day at work became my sole focus in life.  Meanwhile,  I’d cringe inside whenever anybody asked me what I did for a living.  “I’m in HR,” I’d say, while an inner voice screamed “…but that isn’t who I really am!”

Back then, I thought the only things worth spending time on were things that earned money.  But learning how to identify – and spend time on – the things that interested me, just for their own sake, was a genuine life-changer.

Ease the pressure, have fun

In February 2016 I joined the Careershifters’ Launch Pad course.

I did this with the intention of finding a new career.  Remember, I was fixated on only doing things that could make money.

But the first task my course-mates and I were given was a ‘Roosevelt Mission’ – which meant simply “doing something fun”.

I was stumped.

This might sound weird, but in the mire of work and adulthood I realised I’d completely forgotten how to have fun.

But here’s a post from the course’s Facebook group, in which I explain what ended up happening:

Just “doing something fun” can open up the floodgates in your soul.  You realise that you don’t have to be perfect, or even proficient… and once you’ve realised that, you’re free to give almost anything a go.

That’s how you invite hobbies into your life.

Oh, and the weird painting you see in the title picture is one I started years ago.  It’s called ‘An Ode to Gaudy Imperfection’.  It’s not amazing and it’s taking me ages to complete, but every time I work on it I’m completely in the moment. It takes me out of ‘everyday’ life for a while, and I absolutely love it.

I’m also mentoring a lovely client while she writes her first book.  Recently, as we were reviewing her latest chapter together, she mentioned how much she was enjoying our sessions.

“This time is for me,” she said, which made me extremely happy.  If nothing else, it meant she wasn’t taking my suggested edits personally.

Plus, we’re both that little bit more interesting to chat to at parties.

If you’d quite like writing to become a hobby, I can help – either by mentoring you individually, or through my Wondrous Writing Hub, a six-week online course that starts on 7^th September.  Places are deliberately limited, so we can all support and learn from each-other.

(If you think either option might be for you, but you’ve got questions, I’d love to answer them directly.  You can book a quick chat by clicking here).