Look at me! I’m an “award-winning” writing mentor.

It’s occurred to me that I don’t talk much about what I’ve been up to.  Ever since I ditched social media, it sort-of feels like I’m learning how to communicate all over again.

Gone are the days when I could post a witty humblebrag about a client liking my work, or celebrate the end of a gnarly project, and feel reasonably confident that at least a few people would read it.  Now I have to actually talk about myself.  Me being me, I’ll only do that when someone asks.

(“Hope your big job is going well.”

I mentioned a project I was working on to my family… only I didn’t go into detail and just called it a “big job” that meant I had to work on Saturdays for a bit.  No-one asked what the job actually was then or since, and two months on I’m still getting messages from them hoping my “big job” is going well, which I find quite amusing).

So, what HAVE I been up to?

OK, I know you didn’t ask, but if you don’t want to know there’s always the option of just… not reading on.

If you’re still with me, then I’ve been a guest on a recent podcast episode, talking about the difference between holiday property listing sites and online agents.  It’s riveting stuff, I tell you.

(My husband David was a guest on a recent podcast episode too, talking about the rubbish Liam Neeson films we watched during the Covid lockdown and beyond.  It goes without saying that a) we weren’t guests on the same podcast, and b) his podcast episode is a lot funnier and more interesting than mine).

What else?  I booked myself onto a writing retreat in Battle.

I had to write about Starcroft Farm Cabins for my ‘other’ job as the in-house writer for Host Unusual (incidentally, that job is the same reason I was invited to speak on the podcast episode).

Anyway, Starcroft’s writing retreats look incredible.  Reading about them felt like I was being called there in some strange and beautiful way, so I’m going in September.  On my own, on the train.  For four nights.  It’ll be a wondrous adventure.  I might even feel moved to talk about it when it’s over.

I also won some crappy and unasked-for awards.

Have you heard of SME News? Me neither.

As I’ve said elsewhere, most awards aren’t prestigious or meaningful.  But there’s a certain kind of draw in saying you’ve won one (or so people think, anyway) so they are ubiquitous.

Just to clarify, an award isn’t a proper award if:

• You’ve never heard of the awarding body.
• No-one nominated you.
• There’s no actual awards ceremony.
• You only get the award if you pay for it.

OK, so according to SME News, I am the “Writing Mentor of the Year (Essex) 2025” (though the mention of a location means the moment a client comes to me from Worcestershire, say, I’m out of award-winning range.  Thanks for that).

But what does this really mean?

Nowt, that’s what.

Another award-winning shot (you’re getting jealous now, right?)

I also got a notification from my Books app that I’ve been awarded a ‘Bronze Reader!’ bookmark for reading the same eBook over two consecutive days.

Woo-hoo, etc.

I felt a bit indignant about this one, actually.  Not only would the amount of real, can’t-track-digitally books I read surely qualify me for ‘Platinum Reader’ status, but the bookmark they awarded me isn’t real.  I can’t even use it in a digital book.  Which, for me, just about sums up the whole sorry vain shitshow ‘awards’ in the 2020s really is.

(More “what have I been up to?” news coming soon.  You can’t wait, can you?)