On doing it anyway

A producer from BBC Five Live called me last week, at precisely 8:36am.  She asked if I’d like to be a guest on Nicky Campbell’s morning show, airing at 9am.  “You’ve no doubt seen the news reports about UK deaths set to outnumber births,” she trilled (I hadn’t).  “So I’m sure you’ll have some strong opinions to share – and you can mention your book, too.”

Truth is, I didn’t have any strong opinions to share.  I was also bone-shakingly terrified about talking to a lot of people (BBC Five Live gets over five million listeners a week!) on a subject I hadn’t had time to prepare for.

But I did it anyway.

For me, ‘doing it anyway’ has been a recurring theme of 2026.  Not that I meant it to be, because I don’t do new year’s resolutions, words or themes.  I just let each year unfold as it will.  This year, though, I told myself I needed to say “yes” more often.  To jump in with both feet: see, say, and do without any expectations of being perfect or getting it right.

Part of this was fuelled by finally finishing my first novel and knowing the next job would be to pitch it.  Much of last year was also spent trying to get to grips with my annoying introversion and Highly Sensitive Person-ness, from which sprang a revelation.

I’d been regularly saying “no” to interesting-sounding things for at least half my life, either for fear of messing them up or of being messed up by them.

In recent months I’ve been saying “yes” instead.  Not to everything, mind.  I’m not mad.  Just things I quite like the sound of: friends’ parties, nice events, growth opportunities.  I say “yes” and then I see them through.  Sounds simple, sounds normal.  But in the past, I’d often say “yes” as my mind silently whispered, “how will I get out of this if I need to?”.

That “how will I get out of this if I need to?” became a mental focus-point, so I’d panic as the party, or event, or opportunity drew nearer and I hadn’t thought of an answer.  The worst scenarios would play out in my head (I’d embarrass myself, maybe, or I’d feel so overwhelmed I’d say the wrong thing to the wrong person). It would get so stressful that I’d just cancel, sometimes right at the last minute.

I always felt guilty, always felt bad about myself, but I didn’t change anything.  Until now.

I don’t know what changed, exactly.  Maybe it’s just a symptom of getting older.  Things shift around in your soul, and suddenly things that used to worry you just… don’t.

I do know that saying “yes”, then keeping to that “yes” – and trusting that I won’t need a get-out clause – has worked well so far.  Now I focus on how I’ll recover after the party, or event, or opportunity, instead.

(If you are an introvert and/or an HSP, you will know exactly what I mean about needing to recover after a thing.  If you’re not, it’s something useful to know about the introverts and/or HSPs in your life: they will need to recover after a thing.  It might be a whole obligation-free day immediately afterwards, a long walk, or a bit of downtime on their own).

My Radio Five Live stint went… well, it went.  I spoke.  I strung (mostly) coherent sentences together.  I wasn’t brilliant.  But I wasn’t terrible, either.

I could agonise over what bits went well and what didn’t, but I can almost guarantee that nobody else will have noticed.  Even if they did, who cares?  I was having a chat on the radio, not saving lives.

Turns out, trusting myself to do it anyway actually works.

I should do more of it.

(I’m going to).